How to raise a happy child: 22 apt statements from the teacher about the relationship between parents and children

June 22, the legendary teacher Dima Zitser will perform in New York with a pedagogical stand-up about the interaction of children and parents “Love in conditions of turbulence”. Buy tickets you can here to register:. From June 16, a promo code for a discount is valid - Father's Day: FD15.

During the meeting, Zitzer will joke about something that everyone usually takes very seriously - about upbringing and the relationship between children and parents. But the truthfulness and poignancy of each of his jokes will teach you how to interact with children better than any serious book.

On the eve of Dima Zitser's speech in New York, we have collected several apt statements from the teacher about the relationship between parents and children.

1. We can help the child in only one way: before making a remark, before interrupting his song, stopping his dance, overshadowing his causeless fun, you need to stop, take a deep breath and ... take care of yourself.

2. No, you don't always have to be "in great parenting shape." But you can just be honest, say "I'm tired, I'm annoyed, I have problems at work, I want to be alone, finally," instead of manipulating and declaring "it's time for you to read, you're a bum, you constantly spin under my feet, I I'm ashamed of you again" and so on.

3. Imagine, a person had twenty mistakes in a dictation, he worked for a long time and made only eight in the next one. And what? Two again! Meanwhile, his success is much greater than that of an excellent student who, having corrected a single mistake, moved from a four to a five.

4. Addicting to expectation leads to disastrous results: having gone through a harsh school of preparation, our children will continue to prepare, instead of living, for a possible promotion, for the fact that just about - very soon - there will be more money (then and live), to the fact that tomorrow their relationship with loved ones will magically change, that from Monday they will finally start doing what they truly love ...

5. For some reason, in the case of the influence of "bad friends", our faith in the example is enormous. In our own case, we often believe that a personal example is not enough and it must certainly be supported by moralizing.

6. Children accept us for who we are. Is not it? How we have to work to spoil everything!

7. In response to the simple question “why study?” we give mutually exclusive answers: you need to study for yourself, but for the assessment of others. Like this? Think for yourself!

8. “At this age, fractions should bounce off their teeth,” a math teacher says passionately about fourth-grade students. “Because…” I cautiously continue, waiting for at least some rational justification. The answer I get is swiftly unambiguous: “Without because, they must - and that’s all!” So, any means are justified. Well, almost any. Killing, of course, is too much. What about hitting? What about humiliation? What about punishment?

9. I propose to conduct a simple experiment. Before you open your mouth again, ask yourself why this is not possible. Don't be satisfied with a simple "no, that's all" answer. Answer honestly.

10. Take, for example, one school topic. What is noise in the classroom? The classic response is a sign that the students are not interested. But in fact, the opposite is true. When we are interested, we make noise, discuss, express our opinion (remember any party, any meeting with friends). To accept the material, we need to discuss it - "appropriate". In addition, in my opinion, the noise is a sign that the children are alive ... In every sense. Children are generally noisy people.

11. The tradition of flowers brought on the first of September begins a false path that obliges you to treat the school with strange gratitude. Not as an institution created for a person and designed to be comfortable, humane, gentle, helping to get to know the world and oneself in the most convenient way, but as an inevitable evil, which is better treated with a certain amount of nostalgic sympathy.

12. For example, it is very, very important for a mother that the child’s shoes always end up in their place. For this, she is ready to fight day and night, by any means available to her. She fights and fights and achieves at first glance an unexpected effect: the son takes over her intolerance, learns the material taught, as a good student should, and begins to use a new skill. He may not put his shoes in place, but he masterfully “runs over” his mother. And every day it gets better and better, especially if the experience is reinforced by new “lessons”. Isn't this a typical educational process? “He is constantly hysterical!” I wonder how he learned this?

13. The “adult world” would really like a child to be able to do everything, preferably better than others. This is what most parents and educators do.

14. As long as we learn how to interact with them, and realize the correctness of the chosen path, they, imagine, irrevocably passes their childhood.

On the subject: How to enroll a child in a free kindergarten in New York

15. Let's look at parenting in terms of useful skills: reaction speed (cf. "first think, then speak"); the ability to do several things at the same time (cf. “finish one, then take on another”); focusing on several objects at once (cf. “one must be able to choose the main thing”); the ability to think in motion (cf. "sit still, do not turn around"); spontaneity (cf. "be quiet, then you will understand").

16. Can you imagine what kind of hell arises in the soul of a child? Not only do I feel so bad, I'm also alone! One in the whole wide world. Not counting the parents, who are always ready to make it even worse... And as a polish, a typical argument from adults: "I was also brought up like that, and nothing..." What - nothing? To whom - nothing? Who told you that you are beautiful in your narrowness, cruelty, aggression, inability to accept, not even accept - even to see a person next to you? How is it known that these methods of education led to positive results? Have we survived? That's really it and thanks for that!

17. It all starts with an innocent at first glance, but in fact - the most vulgar question addressed to a person of five or six years old: "Who do you want to be when you grow up?" The very posing of the question, if you think about it, implies the complete worthlessness of the object: “Now, of course, you are nobody and nothing, but when you grow up, it’s another matter!.. It’s so important who you will be, much more important than who you are now!”

18. God forbid he will be fine in childhood ... How will he live? Life is known to be a struggle...

19. If right now an adult wants to talk (“How old are you? What do you want to be when you grow up? The child must answer, has no right to constraint, to silence, to an elementary rebuff.

20. Will the ego really eat you to the end? “I am more important than any friends! I know better why you should feel good! I'll tell you how to relax! I know what's on your mind! I'll teach you what to do instead of all the bullshit you do! I will always control you - just try to sneak away, little trash! ..”

21. Parenthood is spoken of as hard work… As something requiring the wildest human and material resources. Isn't that where the fat dead dog is buried?

22. Mom always says that you need to read, dad insists that reading is a joy, but I can never surprise them with this exciting activity ....

You will hear more horizon-expanding jokes from Dima Zitser on June 22 at his pedagogical stand-up in New York. You can buy tickets here to register:.