Russian-speaking New Yorker commits suicide after several years of bullying her husband

Russian-speaking immigrant Katherine Youssef Kassenoff, having survived several years of domestic violence, committed suicide. Her farewell letter опубликовала on Facebook. Katherine hoped that her message would resonate with women around the world and help them. The edition told in more detail Custody Peace.

“Yesterday, one of my colleagues, a survivor of domestic violence, committed suicide in Switzerland. My day started with the fact that I received her message. I have no words. She was recently diagnosed with cancer, which came with the constant stress of dealing with an abuser. It was too much for Katherine. How to find hope in the fight against cancer, how to find courage when you are constantly beaten and you feel defeated? Judging by her Facebook post, she really felt that she had nothing more to live for and nothing to fight for. My heart is broken for her and for all who follow the same path. I can't count how many moms we've lost to suicide over the years," wrote Tina Swithin, divorce consultant and author of Divorce a Narcissist - Advice from the Battlefield.

Facebook post by Katherine Youssef Kassenoff - POV

Dear friends, family and supporters.

It is with deep heartache, which I hope none of you will ever experience, that I write my last message. Today I will end my life. I will do it in a dignified and idyllic setting in Europe. There were simply no other options left.

For the last four years of my life, I woke up every day from a nightmare like no other.

I can no longer bear the bullying and terror of Allan Kassenoff, who for the past 4 years, until March 2023, ruthlessly tried to imprison me on false charges. I also experienced the emotional devastation of living without my children; was homeless; from repeated evictions that Allan organized ex parte (this is a decision made by a judge without the obligatory presence of all participants in the dispute); from depriving me of my property and destroying my savings; from the loss of my two dogs, my career and reputation, and the accompanying humiliation and persecution.

Perhaps if I had the physical strength, I would have continued. But with a new incurable health problem that will soon severely limit my physical strength, and without protection from the courts, I can't keep running from Allan. I was recently diagnosed with cancer. Before that, I had breast cancer twice in my life. I can't go through debilitating chemo, surgery and radiation again... this time with a terrible prognosis and with Allan fighting me "until he dies" and without any court intervention.

These were his exact words as told to me in an email he sent on March 19, 2023. So please understand why I did not share this news: if Allan knew about my health problems, he would undoubtedly try his best to put an end to my existence.

As many of you know, on January 26, 2022, I was groundlessly arrested on the allegations of Allan Kassenoff (October 2021, December 2021 and again January 25, 2022). After I declared my innocence and overcame these charges, I won. On March 16, 2022, all of his false charges were dropped and his fictitious ex parte orders were cancelled. His "contempt" suits demanding my imprisonment were also dismissed due to bias.

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But experience shows that Allan will not stop while I'm alive. Most recently, on March 18, 2023, Allan tried to arrest me again. The day I watched our 9-year-old daughter skate, he stood up and walked over to me. I told him to leave four times. He didn't leave. Instead, he teased me. Then he reported me to the police, claiming that he had a "restrictive order" against me, although he did not - I have every right to see my daughter skating. I filmed his behavior with me on video, which I upload to the attached Dropbox, along with a 911 call and a statement to the police in which he falsely told law enforcement officers that I was capable of “killing” him or the children.

On the basis of a false 911 call initiated by him, the police arrived at the rink. Allan stood close to our daughter, laughing and pointing at me while they interrogated me, waiting to see if they would take me away in handcuffs. Fortunately, I was not arrested, the police realized that he was lying.

But this is how I've been living for years: like a hunted animal, worrying about when Allan will make the next false statement. He perceives all this as a game, and the courts do not stop him, they are even afraid of him, or maybe they just don't care. While against me they handed out judgments ex parte like candy. According to him, they did not even enter a judgment against him after two days of testimony from the police and the manager of the rink that he had lied to try to get me arrested unjustifiably - again.

For a long time, I believed that I could make my children's lives better if I fought to see them, even if only for a moment. Over time, the "gaps" between these moments became endless, unbearable. I yearned for the girls and tried to think of anything they might need, even though I was kept at such a distance that I didn't even know what those things might be.

I imagined who their friends were, where they went, who they spent time with, what their dreams were. I had nothing but my own imagination, because for the last three years I have been deprived of the opportunity to be their mother. I couldn't put them to bed at night, take them to school, arrange sleepovers, cook breakfast for them, or take them on vacation with me. Allan did not allow any of this - the court gave him everything he wanted.

In recent weeks, I have realized that my presence in their lives only brings them pain and suffering. This is because they have to answer to a father who doesn't consider me human.

He erased every element of their existence that had anything to do with me: French, Christianity, tennis. They have learned to identify with him in order to survive. So, they now claim to "hate Christmas" and call me "Katherine" instead of "Mom". Everything for him.

After all, they must reject me. For him. I can see the pain on their small faces when they have to resolve an inexpressible conflict. Only my eldest daughter seems to be strong enough to cope and fight for the right to see me. This look has haunted me for a long time. I don't want to see him anymore. I just want them and my pain to end.

Their father spent years and over $3 million to exclude me from our girls' lives. He liquidated his savings to do so. He will never back down, he will spend everything, he will demonize me mercilessly in front of them, and he has made them suffer if they even want to see me. They were diagnosed with depression and even worse. As long as I'm alive and want to see them, they will suffer again and again every time I try. What's the point of this? The last thing I want is for my own children to suffer.

Even in death, Allan Kassenoff will never stop. After my death, he will tell everyone that I am "mentally ill", that I am a criminal and a liar. But it's not true, and I proved it! I have no criminal record, I am a former U.S. Attorney and Special Counsel to the Governor of the State of New York, I have proven the indisputable fact of the violence he committed in numerous videos, showing that I did not lie about it, and I have testimonies and conclusions from various doctors confirming my mental health.

Indeed, according to Swiss law, a person wishing to commit suicide can only do so after passing a very rigorous background check and being declared capable and not suffering from mental disorders. A Swiss doctor and my therapists, Dr. Anna Filova and Dr. Stefanie Brandt, confirmed this.

Allan's need to convince others otherwise comes from his shame at the truth: that he was a domestic abuser. Trying to present me in such a negative light, he thinks he can clear his name. He will not be able to: video, audio and other materials will haunt him forever. Follow the link to find police statements about his abuse, medical records of the abuse, sworn statements about the abuse, and more. Shame on Greenberg Traurig for knowing all of this and doing nothing to protect the rights of victims of domestic violence like myself and my daughters.

My girls deserve much better than the life their father gave them, and the legal system should have protected them and me, but it couldn't. The judicial system favors the monetary side.

I was a good and loving mother who sacrificed my career for the children I finally conceived after years of fertility treatments. I didn't abuse alcohol or drugs. I never got in trouble with the law (until Allan tried to arrest me). I put my children above everything else in my life.

I haven't lost my whole life. I exposed both a corrupt forensic scientist named Mark Abrams and a corrupt children's lawyer, Carol Most, both of whom were dismissed in disgrace. But the system didn't fix what was broken. She turned my custody fight into a money hog.

Allan filed for divorce in May 2019. Until recently, the case was still not scheduled for a final trial. What a shame to use the suffering of the family so that the various employees of the court could enrich themselves.

Dr. Adler, whose psychology degree somehow allowed her to charge $600 an hour to "reprogram" girls; Dr. McGuffaugh, who charged $450 an hour so that the father could attend my daughter's sessions (then he told the child that she had to choose between him and her mother); Dr. Abrams, who earned more than $40 to testify on her father's behalf and was ignominiously excluded from the custody panel; and Carol Most, who billed a staggering $270 after being suspended for gross ethical violations.

I hope that in death I will achieve what I could not achieve in life. I hope our legislators, judges, media and others take notice of the price I am paying today, the horrors of family court and how the court is destroying families for profit. I hope the public will stand up and say enough is enough. Your children deserve the best. As are mine.

My contact person is Wayne Baker ([email protected]), if you have something to share with him. He has all my documents regarding the divorce case, etc. Please don't let my death be in vain. Contact him to help yourself, use the facts from my case (which Wayne also has access to) and make a difference. Don't let our children grow up and relive this trauma as adults!

All my materials in support of what I write above are available at this link, and I encourage you to spread them around before Allan finds a way to shut down this Facebook page. Please don't let the world or my children forget the real Allan, which is featured in the dozens of videos I have posted - please save them for my children when they are ready to remember and learn the truth about him. Please take a stand against such rapists who enjoy torturing others.

For the sake of my children and other mothers who are experiencing this horror of domestic violence, I ask you to keep telling my story so that the truth is known to all.

Where to go for help

On May 30, New York City announced the Mental Health Initiative in Domestic Violence Shelters. The program will increase access to psychological services for families living in the city's 55 domestic violence shelters, which now house more than 10 people.

The program will finance examinations, individual and group classes, medications. The waiting time for initial consultations will be reduced. Initially, this initiative will affect 9 shelters and will gradually expand to all 55.

If you have experienced domestic violence and need immediate assistance, please text "START" to 88788, call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233), or visit www.thehotline.org.

If you are looking for emergency housing, a domestic violence lawyer, or other resources, visit www.domestichelters.org (USA and Canada).